I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
