We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
