is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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