Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
