id be glad to
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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