you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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