3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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