Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize