I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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