He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
