I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize