i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
