I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
