Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
