i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
