If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
