just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You are the jesus of drinking
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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