I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
