Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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