at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
