is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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