I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
