oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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