you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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