carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
