Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
