I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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