It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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