my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
