your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
