Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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