are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
