no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize