I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
