The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
