Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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