I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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