it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
