quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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