Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
