Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
