I wish i was in the wii world.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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