I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
