Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize