gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize