Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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