i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
