True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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