how can u be prego again
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
