how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
