i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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