Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
