i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
