if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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