Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
