she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
