ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
