IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
