wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
